Getting pregnant again 4mos postpartum is no joke. Especially when it is stillbirth postpartum. (Is that the correct way to describe it?)
My mom snapped this photo of me last weekend just after I turned 16wks... I'm bumping wayyy earlier than all my previous pregnancies, which took until about 20wks to have a noticiable baby bump. Yes, this is my 4th pregnancy too, but knowing me and my body, I think it's more the fact that I only had 4 months of recovery (in which I was mourning). Don't get me wrong, I'm loving having a bump to announce to the world that I AM PREGNANT. While simultaneously hoping and dreading this pronounced bump will bring me a question that allows me to talk about Maisie. Mostly hoping though, since I want to share Maisie with everyone and raise awareness of stillbirth at the same time. Also, aside from the bump... I feel I have had no respite. I was pregnant for 7 weeks April/May 2020 and then miscarried. I got pregnant again 2 weeks after with Maisie and was pregnant with her from June-December 2020. Then she died and I basically cried for the next 4 months and got pregnant again in April 2021. Like for realllll... I'm beat, I'm exhausted, I'm frustrated, I'm confused, I'm a little angry... I'm pissed I have to deal with lockdown scares, things not making sense, and freedoms infringed upon.The world has been falling apart for over a year and I've been pregnant basically this whole time!! It is a lot and I have been feeling very overwhelmed. I thank God for the peace He has blessed me with, but still... I am only human.
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AuthorMother. Jesus Lover. Mourner of my stillborn Maisie Martha Ofsthun. Archives
October 2021
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