When I close my eyes at the end of the day, is when the memories start to replay. Sometimes I need to tell them no; otherwise I will lay their all night watching a very long movie replay in my mind. And it’s not a comedy… it’s a tragedy. But at the same time, I need to remember. I want to dwell on every tiny piece of the story. Because I am so, so scared that I am going to forget something… and each moment is too important. I don’t want to let go of any little piece.
And then as I lay there, I wish I had a little computer (or maybe just a typewriter) in my brain so that as I lay watching the replays… they could be transcribed for me in the dark of the night. Because while for now it is not a lot of work remembering, it seems a daunting task to consider getting it ALL recorded. While I do have most of it down, I fear I don’t have it all. And so… I’m scared. I’m scared 5 years down the line I’m going to press play on a certain chapter of the movie, and it’s no longer going to be there.
1 Comment
Susan Johnson
5/1/2021 08:51:50 pm
Hi, Chelsie~
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AuthorMother. Jesus Lover. Mourner of my stillborn Maisie Martha Ofsthun. Archives
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