Isla & I went to the dentist yesterday. As my teeth were being cleaned, the hygienist asked me “Are you going to have any more kids?” I only had a second to answer... I mean I can’t really have a full conversation when tools & fingers are poking around in my mouth. So all I could quickly utter was, “Yes, we will have more.” And then my heart started beating faster, and my chest squeezed tight, and my smile around my eyes disappeared... she kept talking, but I drifted away. I didn’t mean to say that. What I should have said was we DID have another. We DO have another. I have 3 kids... but one you can’t see. I often grapple with what my “elevator pitch” will be when I get the question, “How many kids do you have?” or, “Are you going to have more?” so that I can concisely include ALL my children in my answer without fumbling to find the right words. Of course this wasn’t my perfect chance to practice because my teeth were in the midst of being cleaned... but such a seemingly simple question in life now holds SO much weight. At the same time I am also so convinced that what I said will hold true... we WILL have more. Not we hope, not if, or all that (which of course is true too). But I was proud looking back to be so sure to just say we will. Simply, we will.
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AuthorMother. Jesus Lover. Mourner of my stillborn Maisie Martha Ofsthun. Archives
October 2021
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