Not a rainbow. Not a replacement. Not a reincarnation. Not a redo. Not a repair.
Their own person. Their own life. Their own love. Their own story. This isn’t a fix. This isn’t a bandaid. This isn’t a happy ending to a sad story. Our loss will be with us forever. Of course we are happy to be pregnant again. Yes, you should be thrilled along with us after what we had to go through. But this does not diminish our pain of losing Maisie in any way. This doesn’t change the fact that Maisie should be here with us. This doesn’t make her death any less poignant. Isla, Lachlan, Maisie, this baby… all have chapters in our novel of life, all equally important, even if some of the characters have longer stories and more chapters. This is my follow up to our pregnancy announcement… I very deliberately didn’t including any wording in the announcement to make this new life seem contingent on Maisie’s death. I want to be able to show this child their pregnancy announcement without them thinking, “Well, maybe I am only here because Maisie died.” It can be hard for me to separate right now because technically I shouldn’t be pregnant right now if Maisie was alive. I should be taking care of a 5 month old baby instead. But we are so gracious for this gift from God. Even though it is bittersweet. We know ALL babies are miracles. And though part of me thinks it would be cute to say you were handpicked by your sister in heaven. God always had you ready for us child. And we are ready for you.
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AuthorMother. Jesus Lover. Mourner of my stillborn Maisie Martha Ofsthun. Archives
October 2021
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