I have to admit, after first losing Maisie I placed a lot of importance on connecting with women who had very similar experiences to me. I felt they were the best place I could connect. They were the only ones who could understand. I shied away from getting too involved in those stories that were different than mine. I couldn’t handle anything else or more then.
Now, I am not saying that is bad. I think that is what I needed most in those moments of grief & despair & trying to understand when everything was still so fresh and raw. I think it is a very important part of the process to find & connect with those who have a shared similar experience. But I am also saying, in the nearly 6 months now since Maisie died, I have grown in my grief & my ability to relate. I have had the chance to connect with so many moms, hear different stories, learn the names of so many precious, loved babies. And as I have processed my loss, I have been able to see with more clarity that our pain & grief over the loss of our baby is universal, even if our path to that point was slightly different. Whether it was your first child or your third child. Whether it was at 18 weeks, 30 weeks, or 38 weeks. Whether it was expected or unexpected. Whether you met them alive, but they passed shortly after, or they were born still. I hear you. I see you. I feel you. I can connect with you. I can talk with you. We have lost a child. And those who have lost a child… know. I am here for you
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AuthorMother. Jesus Lover. Mourner of my stillborn Maisie Martha Ofsthun. Archives
October 2021
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