This phrase “try again” has been on repeat in my mind. I want to “try again” right away. When can we start “trying again?” We are going to “try again.” Let’s “try again.”
Our goal was to have 3 living children in this world. Heck, our goal was to have 3 children. 3 children here with us. 3 cuties sitting on the couch next to us. 3 kiddos in the back of the car. Now somehow I’m living a life where I have to specify “living” children, because one child is not. So here we are now having to “try again.” If you think about what “try again” means… we probably think of this idiom in our culture: “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” Aaliyah even has a hit song titled “Try Again.” The lyrics say… If at first you don’t succeed Then you dust yourself off and try again, try again. The primary connotation behind “try again” means that the first try was a failure. So… I had a realization. I don’t like this phrase “try again!” I even looked back at my post regarding my 6-week follow up appointment to see if I sad “try again” at all. I didn’t. Thankfully. I don’t want that word combination out there in relation to my family planning. We are not going to “try again.” There is nothing about Maisie that was a failure. We don’t have to “try again.” What we are going to be doing (God willing) is having another child. I’m going to actually get to have 4 kids (which is actually how many I always really wanted.) We are going to plan to add to our family. We are trying. But we are not “trying again.” Don’t worry - if you ask me (or have asked me) if we are going to “try again,” it is not upsetting. I know I’ve said it in conversation with others. This doesn’t rank up there as something that really bugs me. But it was something I thought about and had to come to the realization for myself and my own thinking. #maisiemarthaofsthun #stillbirth #stillbirthbreakthesilence #stillborn #stillbornstillloved #stillbirthawareness #stillbornawareness #stillamama #stillbirthsupport #pregnancyloss #umbilicalcordaccident #stillbornbutstillborn #bornstill
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AuthorMother. Jesus Lover. Mourner of my stillborn Maisie Martha Ofsthun. Archives
October 2021
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