I am on vacation in Florida where that weather is warm and the sun is shining. Am I enjoying it? Yes. Is there a part of me feeling bad for enjoying it? Yes. Do I look back on my smiling pictures and think that seems kind of weird? Yes. Do I wish I couldn’t be here right now because I should have been having a baby instead? Absolutely million percent.
It’s a 2 week getaway... because we are at my parents house so the stay is free... & we wanted to get the most out of our time here. But I’ve been a bit homesick. I want to get back home to my mourning & dealing & thinking & processing. It’s still so fresh. It’s still not even been 3 months (more like 2 when we got here and about 2.5 months when we go back). I don’t want to have “normal” days yet. I miss Maisie so bad, though I know I have to “consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Romans 8:18 But is it wrong to feel I should still be suffering?
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AuthorMother. Jesus Lover. Mourner of my stillborn Maisie Martha Ofsthun. Archives
October 2021
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